


Creating Traditions

by B_Frizzy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Discussions of sex, First Kiss, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Mentions of Abusive Relationships, Pets, Relationship Negotiation, Texting, Veterinarian Castiel, crazy cat couple destiel, excessive christmas decoration, mentions of animal injury, slight aphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13248810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Frizzy/pseuds/B_Frizzy
Summary: “I’m Castiel. What’s his name?”Castiel found a particularly itchy spot, and scratched at it vigorously.“He doesn’t have one. Well, I’m sure that he had one at the pound, but he’s a Christmas present for my sister-in-law, and my brother has some stupid romantic idea about her being the one to rename him.”There was something incredibly endearing about that. The man was clearly not a dog person, but he was willing to take one in for a week simply because his brother asked. Castiel knew that his brothers would never put themselves out like that for him, except Gabriel, who was doing exactly that. It was a quality that endeared Castiel to the man. Even though he was a stranger, Castiel wanted to get to know him more.-or, Castiel recklessly throws himself into celebrating Christmas and into his inexplicable feelings for a stranger.-





	Creating Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the tales from aroland secret santa exchange for almostimportanthologram! i hope you love it.

Cas sighed and slammed his car door. It was late, much later than he liked getting home from work. His day had been hell. The very first appointment that morning was a disgruntled Newfoundland named Geoffrey, who had been feeling down for days, according to his human. He left the office feeling better, but only because he threw up a lacy pair of underwear all over Castiel’s brand new scrubs. The day only went downhill from there.

It was well past eight at night when he finally trudged through the parking lot to his brother’s building. His building. He kept forgetting that he had moved in with Gabriel; his brother’s apartment was his apartment, too, now.

Castiel pulled his trench coat closer around himself. It was less than a week before Christmas, and while there wasn’t any snow on the ground (there rarely was in Kansas), the temperature was creeping closer to freezing. All around town, more heavy coats and scarves were popping up. Becky, their over enthusiastic receptionist, had been perfecting a display of dog and cat sweaters all month.

Which was why it was so strange to see a man standing in the small dog run in nothing but a worn leather jacket, a thick pair of boots, and a pair of boxers. He was muttering to the dog that he had in an ill-fitting harness. The dog seemed happy to be outside, ignoring everything the man was saying.

Castiel wandered a little closer, wondering who the strange man was. He could tell that the man was conventionally attractive, with pretty features and a nicely toned body (if the man’s legs were anything to go by). When he got a few steps away, he had to suppress a snort. The man’s boxers were a lurid red and in large white letters across his backside they said “don’t open before Christmas”. It was funny to see such a gruff-looking man in something so kitschy.

The man pulled on the leash uselessly while the large dog happily sniffed at a young tree. Now that he was just on the other side of the fence, Castiel could hear the man saying, “C’mon, you stupid hellhound. Just piss already so we can get back upstairs to the heating.”

It wasn’t hard to see that the dog needed more time to run around, off its leash, to expend some energy. Likely, it had been stuck in a small apartment all day.

Castiel cleared his throat, then said, “That is not going to work.”

He only intended to help the man, who was clearly in over his head with his dog. The way the man whipped around, and the harsh expression on his face told Castiel that his advice wasn’t welcome. Which, on second thought, should not have been a surprise to Castiel. He was approaching a stranger in the middle of the night and trying to tell that stranger how they were doing something wrong.

“Excuse me?” The man’s tone was cold and harsh.

He raised his hands, trying to indicate that he was only trying to help.

“I mean no offense, but if you only take him out at night, then he won’t want to… void, in an attempt to have more time outside.”

It was a problem that they saw often at the veterinarian office, especially among new pet owners. People would come in, complaining that their puppy or dog would whine and scratch like they needed to go outside, but once they got outside, the dog would refuse to urinate. All of them would leave with the same advice: let them have more time outside.

It was a simple solution that would make both dog and owner happier.

The man stared at Castiel for a long second, evaluating, before nodding in acknowledgement. He crossed his arms over his chest, but the effect was kind of ruined by the orange safety leash and the man’s lack of pants.

“What are you, some sort of fuckin’ animal whisperer or something?”

Castiel couldn’t help but grin, just a little bit. There was something endearing about this man, who was tough on the exterior, with a huge sense of humor and a healthy amount of skepticism.

“Or something,” he replied. “I am a veterinary technician.”

Castiel let his eyes fall from the man to his dog. It was large and beautiful, strong muscles and sleek lines, a wolfhound of some sort probably. It was a little thin, but not worryingly so. He knelt down and clicked his tongue. Immediately, the dog perked up and trotted over to the fence.

He had gorgeous black fur, nice and shiny like a healthy dog should be. His snout was speckled with white, and he had a white diamond on his chest, too. He pulled to the limits of his leash, trying to get his nose through the fence to sniff at Castiel’s proffered hand. When he couldn’t get far enough, he decided to flop on his back and wiggle around, in desperate hope for belly rubs.

Castiel stuck his arm through the fence so that he could scratch at the cute white diamond on the dog’s chest. Even on the worst days at work, Castiel was still an animal person. He could never deny a friendly dog.

“I’m Castiel. What’s his name?”

Castiel found a particularly itchy spot, and scratched at it vigorously.

“He doesn’t have one. Well, I’m sure that he had one at the pound, but he’s a Christmas present for my sister-in-law, and my brother has some stupid romantic idea about her being the one to rename him.”

There was something incredibly endearing about that. The man was clearly not a dog person, but he was willing to take one in for a week simply because his brother asked. Castiel knew that his brothers would never put themselves out like that for him, except Gabriel, who was doing exactly that. It was a quality that endeared Castiel to the man. Even though he was a stranger, Castiel wanted to get to know him more.

Castiel looked back up at the man, and it was like flipping a switch. One moment, he was looking at a funny, grumpy guy, who was two seconds away from doing a shuffle to keep warm. The next, all Castiel saw was a smarmy smile, a pose that was too carefully constructed to show off body parts to be natural, and the same expression he saw countless times on exes’ faces. Everything about the man suddenly read overtly sexual in a way that made Castiel want to shrink away and hide.

Instead, Castiel stood up and squared his shoulders. He had spent over three decades shrinking away before he felt like he could be confident in who he was, and he refused to let himself go back to that anymore.

“I’m Dean, though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here, Cas.”

He didn’t bother correcting the nickname. It wasn’t the first time someone tried to shorten Castiel’s name, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last time.

“Yes. I recently moved in. However, it’s getting late and I should probably head inside. I would be happy to give you my number if you have any more questions about your temporary house guest, though.”

Dean’s smirk grew wider, into a full grin, as he fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Castiel through the fence. Castiel programmed it quickly, then handed it back. Chances were, he would never hear from Dean again. But on the off chance that he could help Dean, or even gain a friend, Castiel couldn’t see anything to lose.

Castiel gave a final goodbye and made his way slowly up to Gabri- his apartment. He couldn’t put his finger on why, but a part of him felt like he had just done something important.

****

“Hey there, baby bro. You’re late!”

Castiel hung his coat on the rack and felt the tension ease from his shoulders. He hadn't been living with Gabriel long, but their shared apartment felt more like home than any of his previous residences. His brother had always been a safe haven for Castiel, long before either of them moved away from childhood home.

“There was an emergency at work, and then I met a neighbor on the way in.”

Gabriel was in the kitchen, working on some sort of dough. The apartment was already filled to the brim with christmas cookies, but once Gabriel got started baking, it was hard to get him to stop. He grabbed one from a cooling rack and handed it to Castiel to try.

“Well, look at you! Making friends and being social.”

As always, the cookie was delicious, if a bit strange. It tasted like gingerbread, but there was a strange, almost salty crunch to them. He quickly ate the first and grabbed a second, but couldn’t figure out what Gabriel had added to them.

Gabriel grinned and said, “Barbeque chips.”

It worked oddly well.

Living together again was a bit of an adjustment. Gabriel was an absolute mess; he left dirty clothes all over the place, almost never did his dishes (although, he almost never cooked, either), and he had a bad habit of walking around in his underwear… or less.

It had its perks, though. More than anyone else, Gabriel really understood Castiel. He supported his brother’s need for rigid structure and schedule, but he also encouraged Castiel’s few moments of spontaneity. Gabriel didn’t ask a single question when Castiel showed up on his doorstep with a suitcase and he didn’t question why Castiel spent the next week decorating the entire apartment for Christmas (even though they had never celebrated before).

Honestly, if Gabriel had asked, Castiel probably couldn’t have put it into words. When they were children, Christmas time was a reason to go to church every day instead of three times a week. There were no gifts or celebrating, no decorations or joy at all.

There was some small part of Castiel that got a thrill out of seeing his home covered from top to bottom in extravagant and completely useless holiday cheer. It was the same small part of him that made his stomach flip when he caught a glimpse of the little bee tattoo he got on his 18th birthday and that caused him to finally walk away from his family for good.

Castiel went to change out of his messy scrubs, and when he finally made his way back to the living room, Gabriel had set up on the couch, ready to start the movie for the night. Castiel didn’t recognize the title, but he wasn’t very familiar with most popular culture anyway.

Halfway through the movie, they had eating nearly a dozen cookies each. Gabriel was in the middle of a rant about one of the characters on the screen when Castiel heard his phone chime. It was unusual that anyone besides his brother texted him, so he checked the message right away.

**Hey man, this is dean. Wyd?**

Castiel hadn’t expected Dean to text him at all, let alone so soon. While Castiel was drawn to him, curious about him as a person, he didn’t get the impression that Dean felt anything similar. In fact, it seemed like Dean was more interested in flirting than making any real sort of connection. Gabriel may have joked about Castiel making friends, but that wasn’t the case at all.

Gabriel glanced over at him. “Who the hell is texting you at this hour? ‘Nother work emergency?”

“No. It’s the man I met earlier, Dean,” Castiel said. He tilted his phone toward his brother. “What does this mean?”

“Uhh, it means your new bud texts like a 16 year old girl. It means ‘what are you doing’.”

Maybe Dean was having a dog emergency and was wondering if Castiel could go over and help. That was the only reason he could think of that Dean was wondering what he was doing.

**I am watching a movie. Was there a question you needed answered about your dog?**

Gabriel gave him a considering look, but for once didn’t say anything else. Castiel was extremely grateful that his brother had suddenly learned when it was an appropriate time to stay quiet.

They both looked down at the phone when it pinged again. Normally, Castiel would say something to his brother about privacy and being nosy, but it turned out that Dean’s texting was, as Gabriel described it, like a teenagers’. Once again, there were acronyms that Castiel didn’t know, that he knew he would have to ask Gabriel to translate.

 **Oh cool**  
Nah, not about him  
You dtf?

When Gabriel didn’t immediately explain what Dean was asking, Castiel glanced at his brother. Gabriel’s expression was unlike one that he’d seen his brother wear for a very long time. And never outside of their family’s company. His eyebrows were tight, and his mouth was set in an angry grimace.

“Gabriel…”

Gabriel looked between the phone and Castiel a few times. He nearly spit his words. “It means ‘down to fuck’. He’s asking if you’re interested in hooking up.”

Castiel felt his drop to his feet. He shouldn’t be disappointed, really. He had no reason to feel disappointment over a man he had just met. He had no reason to expect anything different from Dean. Sure, he seemed to have some endearing qualities; he seemed loyal and interesting. But even the best qualities didn’t stop people from being sexual. Because there wasn’t anything wrong with being allosexual.

Castiel tried to remind himself that there wasn’t anything wrong with being asexual, either, but when he felt so horrible at even the reminder that people may see him as sexual, it was hard to remember that.

He quickly texted back, then tossed his phone to the side and finished watching the movie with gabriel.

**I apologize, Dean. you got the wrong impression.**

****

For the next three mornings, Castiel managed to run into Dean in the parking lot of their building. He was glad to see that Dean had taken his advice about giving the dog more time to stretch his considerable legs, but wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing Dean in general.

The man was magnetic, and Castiel didn’t know if he loved it or hated it more. He knew trying to initiate conversation was a bad idea. Dean was a bad idea. As many times as he told himself that he could just be friends

Castiel thought that taking control of things, that coming out to himself and everyone as asexual would help put him on the right track to the life he never thought he could have. But Castiel had lost count of how many times in the past few months he felt as unstable as he did about Dean. Since he decided to take control over his situation, leaving behind not only an abusive exgirlfriend but also a life where he was uncomfortable, unhappy, and stuck once again in the closet, he felt like he couldn’t get a foot on solid ground.

The whole situation with Dean made it worse than ever. Castiel was having feelings that he never expected, or even wanted to feel. And on top of it, he was having them for a man who he had only known for ten minutes. And he knew that he was just setting himself up for disappointment, again.

Still, he waved at Dean every morning as he walked to his beat up car. It was a bad idea, but he couldn’t help but feel like it was right, too.

It was the same on the 23rd. Dean was outside in his beat up leather jacket, this time listlessly tossing a tennis ball for the dog to run after. Castiel waved, like he had the past three mornings. This time, though, Dean waved back. Maybe it was a good omen for the day. Probably not.

Castiel wasn’t sure what it was about the holidays, but they always made the office busier than usual. It was as if Christmas hadn’t been on the calendar all year, and the 24th would be the day for them to bring their beloved animal to the vet.

The entire office was filled with the sounds of Marv and his six cats. They insisted that he didn’t have to bring them all in when one needed a check up, but so far, nobody had any luck. Even worse, the end of his appointment overlapped with the start of Crowley and his giant doberman, Juliet. Even though it was inconvenient for them, the office always tried to make his appointment run into lunch so that Juliet didn’t have to spend any time with other animals. Getting Marv and his cats out of the office was… well, it was like herding cats.

Later, when he wasn’t so stressed, Castiel would laugh at the imagery.

He was looking forward to a calm, quiet lunch like he never had before. Occasionally, he would try to socialize with the other veterinary technicians during their break in an effort to convince Gabriel that he could make friends, but he needed the time to rest his mind and relax alone.

As he escorted Crowley and Juliet out, all he could think about was the bag full of cheesecake brownies in him lunch bag. He could already taste them as he locked the door, when his cell phone rang. Castiel briefly considered ignoring it, but his sense of responsibility made him at least check the caller ID.

When he saw Dean flash on his phone, he paused. He knew that he should ignore it. There was nothing good to come from a man like Dean. But…

But, Dean had been all but ignoring him for days. Sure, he waved back that morning, but the past two, he acted like he didn’t see Castiel at all. And Castiel had offered to be there to answer any dog related questions Dean had. It was a definite possibility that there was some sort of emergency hat needed to be taken care of. For Castiel to ignore that would be rude and mean spirited. After all, the dog didn’t do anything wrong.

“Hello?” He answered hesitantly.

There was a bit of a pause before Dean finally said, “Hello, Castiel. This is Dean. Winchester. Uh, I hate to call when you’re at work, but I actually have a bit of an animal emergency.”

Castiel straightened up. “Is everything okay with your dog?”

“No, well yeah. Actually, I’m at work, at Singer’s Salvage and Garage on 12th? I found a cat stuck under the hood of one of an old Nova we had out back, pinned in the engine block by his paw. He looks a little beat up, I was wondering if I could bring him in for you to check out.”

Without hesitation, Castiel told him, “Absolutely. I’m currently on lunch; if you bring it in, I can take a look and you won’t have to wait for an appointment.”

Strictly speaking, it was against policy to allow people to come during lunch for personal reasons. Handling animals while you were on break was a liability issue. However, it was known to happen. Castiel usually wasn’t one to bend the rules, but he was willing to help Dean out. Both for the sake of an injured cat and for the possible of clearing the air with Dean.

On the other end of the line, Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay. Thank you for calling, Dean.”

Castiel hung up his phone and stood for a moment, before heading back to the shared break room. He waved off greetings from Becky and Pamela, grabbed his brownies, and headed back to the front desk to wait for Dean.

He tried to organize the thoughts in his head. First and foremost, his focus needed to be on the injured cat. As much as he wanted to focus on Dean, even if he couldn’t quite figure out why, that wasn’t the responsible or professional thing to do, and Dean was coming to him as a professional.

It wasn’t long before Castiel was torn from his thoughts by a knocking on the front door. Once again, Dean wasn’t wearing proper winter clothing, only a light jacket. At first, Castiel thought he was huddled in on himself because of the cold, but he quickly realized it was actually because there was a small cat tucked into Dean’s jacket.

Castiel quickly opened the doors, greeting Dean and giving the cat a small scratch on the head. He lead them to one of the sterile exam rooms. Dean carefully sat the cat down on the exam table.

From his first look, Castiel could see that the cat was small, probably the runt of the litter. Under a layer of what he assumed was engine grease, its fur was downy and white. One ear had a chunk taken out of it, likely from fighting, and the left front paw was clearly injured.

Despite the problems and malnutrition, the cat was curiously limping around the table. It would wander out a few steps, then make its way back to the side where Dean was standing. The one time it wandered a little too far, Dean made sure to herd it back from danger. Castiel watched their interaction while he pulled on his gloves.

Castiel carefully examined the animal. He knew that the paw was going to be the most painful for it, so he checked out everything else first. It had obviously been homeless for a while, covered in fleas and scars from fighting. All of them seemed to heal well. Its ear also appeared to be healing on its own. He quickly checked the sex (female), before preparing for the “main event” so to speak.

“Can you hold her for me? I need to look at her paw, and it will be quite uncomfortable for her.”

Dean carefully lifted her up, cradling her small body in his large hands. “So, it’s a she, huh?”

Even before Castiel touched the cat’s paw, she started squirming to get away. He tried to be as quick as possible, and managed to get away with only a few scratches and a happy prognosis.

He smiled at Dean. “Yes, she is a female. And while this wound looks very bad, it is all superficial. She will need to have some flea medication and a course of antibiotics, and we should test for worms, but she should recover fantastically.”

Dean broke out in a smile that lit up his whole face. The line of his shoulders relaxed, and he cuddled the cat closer, and gave her a kiss on her greasy forehead. “So, she’ll be okay, then?”

“She’ll be okay, yes.” He pulled off his gloves. “If you leave her with us, we can observe her for a few days, and she’ll be free for you to take her home.”

Dean gave Castiel a grateful look. “Thank you so much for this, man.”

In the lobby, Castiel could hear Becky’s cheerful voice. The first afternoon appointment had arrived, then. He carefully took the small cat from Dean and started to escort them back to the front of the building.

Dean gave him a pat on the back as he said goodbye. Castiel watched him walk back to his car and couldn’t help but feel like he had wasted an opportunity, that he was letting something walk away that he would regret.

Taking the small cat in one hand, he pulled his phone out with the other as quickly as he could, he typed out a text message to Dean.

Would you like to come over tonight so that we can speak?

It wasn’t until the end of the day when he was able to check his phone again, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the response.

Okay.

****

Once again, he had been held late at work. This time, he didn't mind the reason as much. The little cat that dean brought in earlier in the day turned out to be a spunky little trouble maker. She chewed off her bandages faster than they could rewrap them and somehow managed to escape from her cage. He was pleased that she was feeling better, but until her paw was healed, he would have to keep a close eye on her, which meant taking her home over the holiday.

Castiel was still in his bedroom getting changed when he heard knocking on the door. He knew that Gabriel would answer it, so he wasn’t worried about Dean standing out there alone, however… the possibility of the two meeting and speaking at all sent Castiel into a bigger rush.

When Castiel called his brother earlier and told him that Dean would be coming by, Gabriel had been uncharacteristically quiet, and without a single joke told Castiel that it was a bad idea. He didn’t have to say anything else to express how horrible he thought this was. Castiel knew his brother, and he knew that he shouldn’t be doing this at all. But he couldn’t help but look forward to seeing Dean, trying to explain. Trying to… something.

Castiel pulled on a button up shirt and headed out of his bedroom. Gabriel was standing in the doorway, blocking Dean from entering. He suppressed a sigh and headed over to them.

“Good evening, Dean. Gabriel, thank you.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at Castiel, then walked away without a word. When he slammed his door, Castiel turned his attention back to Dean. If possible, Dean looked more pissed off than Gabriel had.

“Would you like to come inside?” Castiel moved aside so that Dean could walk in, but he didn’t take the invitation.

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets. “Look, if your intention was to shove your aggressive douchebag boyfriend in my face, message received.”

Castiel was going to kill Gabriel for giving Dean that impression. He knew that his brother was against this, but didn’t know that he was going to sabotage him before he could even get Dean in the apartment.

“I apologize, that wasn’t my intention at all. Please, come inside.”

Dean shifted on his feet a few times, tossing around the decision in his head. Castiel could tell that Dean thought this was just as bad an idea as everyone else. Maybe Castiel should just shut the night down before he even got himself invested. More invested.

After a few seconds, Dean finally walked passed Castiel and into the apartment. He paused a few steps inside, taking everything in. it made Castiel look at the room and consider what a stranger would see. The room was lit by the huge christmas tree in the corner, twinkling white and purple lights (Castiel wasn’t sure where Gabriel had found purple lights, but they were perfect). Silver tinsel lined the bookshelves and the mantel on the faux fireplace.

The small cat was was playing with a string of lights that she had apparently batted off the tree. Castiel carefully shooed her away.

Dean pointed around the room. “Wow, you’re, uh… Really into the holiday, huh?”

“It may have gotten away from me..” Castiel could feel his face heat. Looking at it from the outside, it was silly. There was no reason to cover every inch in embellishments because of a silly holiday that he didn't actually celebrate.

“No, no, it’s… cute.”

Dean took a final look around before he sat on the couch, immediately settled back. He was making a good effort at being casual, but Castiel could see that he was tense. Castiel carefully sat on the chair across from him.

Dean startled when the cat jumped on the couch next to him. She gave him a few headbutts before flopping over on his lap, wiggling around happily. Clearly, she remembered Dean as the man who saved her. He carefully gave her a few pats before recognition lit up his face.

“Oh man, is this Nova?”

Castiel smiled. The little girl must have made an impression on Dean, too, if he had named her. “This is the cat that you brought in earlier, yes. You've been calling her Nova?”

“Yeah, it's the kind of car I found her in.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Castiel didn't know how to start, didn't even know what he wanted to say. Dean continued to scratch Nova’S ears and stare at castiel. After a minute, he said, “So, your boyfriend doesn’t seem to happy with me being here.”

Castiel wrinkled his nose. “Gabriel is my brother, not my boyfriend. I moved in with him recently, until I can find an apartment of my own.”

Dean relaxed marginally. He nodded a bit and tapped his fingers. “Protective brother, I got it. So, why does he knew about what I texted you the other day?”

Castiel was glad that Dean was leading the conversation, because he was sure that he couldn’t have figured out how to vocalize everything that needed to be said. It felt a little bit like an interrogation, but he’d had worse.

“I didn’t know what the acronyms you used meant, so I asked him.”

Dean gave him a considering look for a long minute before shaking his head and laughing. “You’re a weird dude, Cas.”

It wasn’t the first time that he heard it, and it almost definitely wouldn’t have been the last.

Dean cleared his throat and settled back against the couch more comfortably. “Look, I didn’t mean to offend you or nothin’, but I thought I got a vibe off of you, so I figured asking wouldn’t hurt, y’know?”

Castiel wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, or what he could have been doing to give off a “vibe”, but he thought maybe he understood. Castiel wouldn’t normally go up to a stranger and start a conversation, and he had never given his phone number out to a stranger. He could understand how that could say to someone that there was something more going on.

And wasn’t there? Castiel hated that he felt so drawn to Dean, but he undoubtedly was. And in his own way, he was sending a message to Dean. One that had been received, but misinterpreted.

“You weren’t wrong. At least, not about giving you a… ‘vibe’. I am interested in you, just not in sex.”

“Sorry, dude, I don't think I get what you’re saying.”

Castiel considered what he wanted to say, how he could rephrase his thoughts.

“I am interested in getting to know you more, romantically. But I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I am not sexually attracted to you and I am not interested in sex. I am asexual. ”

Castiel had only said those words out loud once before. He hoped that Dean took it better than Naomi had, but there was little that Dean could say or do that could even come close to how his ex girlfriend had reacted. Castiel hadn’t even told Gabriel outright, but his brother somehow already knew.

Dean rubbed his hand over his jaw, considering. “ I don’t want to be insensitive or anything, but I don’t really know what I can ask without offending you.”

“Ask whatever you would like. If you ask anything I won’t answer, I’ll tell you that.”

Dean nodded. “Have you ever? Had sex.”

It made sense that it was the first question that he asked. He wasn’t wrong that it was offensive, but it made sense. Castiel’s knee-jerk reaction was to tell Dean that he didn’t want to answer, that it wasn’t his business. The rational side of him knew that he would have to be willing to divulge more than he normally would for Dean to fully understand.

He began slowly. “I have, several times. However, the two things aren’t as related as they may seem. Asexuality only means that I do not experience sexual attraction; it is not related to the libido. There are those who identify as ace who still have and enjoy sex. There are those who are neutral to sex, and will have it with partners because it’s important to their partners. I am neither of those things.”

“Okay, then. What would dating you be like?”

In all honesty, Castiel wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what his boundaries were, what was a reaction to Naomi’s disregard for his needs, how they would change in the future. He wished that he could give Dean a neatly itemized list of things that were okay and things that weren’t, but life just didn’t work that way.

“It would be like any other relationship, without the sex. We would go on dates and get to know each other. We could stay in and cuddle on the couch while we watch movies. Going out with friends. Hugging and kissing and touching. It would mean figuring each other out, just like you do in any new relationship. There are options we can explore in the future if you find that lack of sex is a problem for you.”

Dean sat and thought for a few minutes, quietly running his fingers through Nova’s soft fur. Her gentle purring was the only sound in the room.  
Castiel knew it was a lot to process, so he gave Dean all the time he needed.

“I, uh… I don't know if I'll be any good at this. And I can't promise that I'm not gonna do things that will accidentally cross boundaries.”

“of course.”

Dean gave a small smile. “But I don't think I'd be opposed to trying, if you want to.”

And castiel really did want to try. He slowly held his hand out to dean, palm up. Almost immediately, Dean took it, lacing his fingers through Castiel’s.

“it's getting late. I should probably get going.”

They walked slowly to the door, still hand in hand. Castiel was feeling light, almost giddy. He knew that he should be worried about what was to come, about how they were going to make this work, about… well, about everything. But he could do that later. For now, he wanted to enjoy the feeling of Dean’s calloused hands in his. He wanted to prolong this moment. He wanted to kiss Dean, he realized, a bit shocked.

Dean opened the door, and turned to say goodbye for the night. Castiel slowly leaned in, carefully telegraphing his movements in case Dean had objections. The kiss was soft and barely there, done in an instant. But it was nice. It was perfect.

When Castiel pulled away, he could see Dean grinning. The man finally moved to leave, before turning back around and saying, “I don’t get it. If you’re not interested in me for sex, why are you?”

Castiel smiled. That was the one question he could answer easily. “You love your brother enough to take in a dog for a week. You had every reason to discount me, but took my advice anyway. You cared about a stray cat enough to call me. You were excited to see her again. You gave me a chance. You’re a good man, Dean. That’s what I’m interested in getting to know more.”

Dean smiled widely and pressed another chaste kiss to Castiel’s lips before heading out the door.

***

*One year and one day later*

Castiel heard the alarm go off again in the bedroom as he was putting the finishing touches on the large mugs of hot cocoa in the kitchen. Two with irish cream, two with peppermint sticks, a huge homemade marshmallow on each mug. Dean mentioned once that it was one of the only traditions that he and Sam had as children, and Castiel was happy to keep that going.

It somehow wasn’t a surprise to him that Dean was horrible about waking up in the morning. Not even Christmas could get him out of bed. He usually snoozed, if he didn’t just turn off his alarm and rush out of bed twenty minutes late. Castiel expected that eventually it would get annoying, but for now, it was still endearing.

Castiel brought everything out to the living room on a huge tray, carefully setting the full mugs on the coffee table. He had to shoo away Nova and Chevelle from where they were perched on the table, playing with a stray bow. As usual, Felix was nowhere to be seen. He liked sleeping almost as much as Dean.

He couldn’t help but smile at the room, like he had every day since he had moved in with Dean, obnoxious Christmas decorations and all. Instead of a real tree, there was a large sculpture made out of car parts strung with purple lights. Castiel had recently talked Dean into trying his hand at metal sculpture, and Castiel was sure he would never give up this tree. It twinkled and shined, and it was perfect.

The bedroom door opened and Dean headed to press a sleepy kiss to Castiel’s cheek before making a beeline for the coffee maker. He had barely taken a sip when there was a knock on the door.

“I got it, babe.”

Dean greeted Sam and Jess with big hugs. Castiel quickly gathered the bags out of Jess’ hands and placed them to the side. He led her to the couch and made sure the cats weren’t underfoot (or under cushion) so that she could rest her feet. She tried to wave him off, but didn’t protest too hard. At eight months pregnant, he couldn’t blame her.

“Merry Christmas, Jessica.”

“Merry Christmas, Castiel.”

He handed her one of the hot chocolates with a peppermint stick, and took the other. Eventually, Sam and Dean made their way to the living room to join them, too. It was their first Christmas together as a family, and it felt so right.

The year hadn’t been perfect. There had definitely been struggles. Dean and Castiel’s relationship was something totally new to both of them, and it was still a work in progress. There were times when Castiel felt guilty that he was denying Dean something so essential to a relationship, but Dean was wonderful about reminding him that sex wasn’t necessary, that was society talking. Dean himself was having a hard time adjusting, too, but even in the bad times, things were still good.

There was something about the Christmas season, their one year anniversary, and family coming together made it feel like there was a golden sheen on the world.

Castiel gathered all of the presents from under the faux-tree, and handed them to the appropriate people. He made sure to set aside Gabriel’s gifts. His brother had to work an opening shift at the bakery, but he would be by later in the evening.

When everyone had a small pile in front of them. Sam and Dean raced to open their gifts first. They didn’t have many more positive Christmas memories than Castiel, so having fun holiday experiences was new to them, too. It was fun to watch them relive their childhoods.

Since they moved in together, Dean had made a habit of stealing all of Castiel’s soft sweaters and socks. There were a few mornings when Castiel woke up to nearly empty drawers and a boyfriend layered in comfortable clothing.

For a present, Castiel bought Dean half a dozen large, comfortable looking sweaters of his own. When Dean opened the box he looked happy enough to pull them all on right that second, even with Sam’s teasing in the background. In return, Dean had given him a stack of new scrubs and a small bumblebee that he made out of a car’s radiator.

They both agreed that they would only exchange small gifts so that they could focus on what to give their family. Under the tree, Gabriel had a set of custom rolling pins embossed with his bakery’s logo.

In Jessica’s lap was a bag that contained a series of products designed to pamper her. There were several exfoliating lotions, face masks, and deep conditioners. At the very bottom was a gift card for a week of professional massages and an agreement to watch the baby for each appointment.

For the baby-to-be, they had a huge bag of clothes, diapers, baby wash, anything they could grab at the store. Since Sam and Jess decided not to find out the gender of the baby, it was a mess of rainbow that Castiel expected Jess to love almost as much as he did.

And in Sam’s lap was something that Castiel knew Dean was nervous and excited for. When they were young children, there was a house fire at the Winchester’s. Dean brough baby Sam outside, wrapped in a blanket. For Christmas, Castiel found a professional who could take the blanket that was wrapped around Sam into a new quilt for the baby. Castiel couldn’t wait to see how he reacted to it.

He couldn’t wait to see what new traditions next Christmas brough, either.

**Author's Note:**

> I waffled for weeks about what to write, and finally decided on this idea... but I was writing it from Dean's POV. I was having a hard time, so when I was almost done, I decided to scrap it all and start over from Castiel's POV. I'm so much happier with it now! I may come back to this sometime later and add a part two, or a little addition to this universe  
> that being said... I was so sick of seeing some of these parts by the end, that I may have done a bit of a shoddy job at editing. if you see any glaring issues, feel free to let me know.
> 
> p.s.: if you have any pregnant folks in your life (or recently new parents), professional massages are literally the only acceptable gift.


End file.
